m(___)m

*Pfft why do i keep forgetting to add post titles? >_>*

the much-waited answer to some people's question: where have i been and when am i back?

firstly, im sorry for making a lot of you wait.
and i thank those who did worry about me <3

ive been in japan all the time since the first day of the chinese new year holidays.
(a.k.a gone ever since)
yes im still here, so im not dead im not kidnapped im not killed im not lost im not whatever-worst-case-scenario-you-can-think-of.

the next sorry is a bit complicated, reason:
i wont be back for a long time.



you heard me.
really sorry.
but a lotta stuff happened (especially among my family .__.) and this is one of the conclusion.
i was semi-forced to do so.
now im preparing for the new semester here in japan.
(i should be doing their homework but, to me this post is a little heavier on the balance)

the high school here is 3 years, so im half-sure (never know what happens next) im not gonna return during this.
i think my name has already disappeared from chs... ionno.

some of you may think i was lying.
before the holidays of doooom came, i told quite a few people that im not gonna be in msia during the holidays.
of course all asked why.
replied: for some test in japan.
i didnt lie about that, cause i took the test, waited for the results, and i passed.
the family problem was running through all the way though.
and once we knew i passed, then came the big change.

my family had to change for the better.

the main reason is because its hard to look for jobs (moreover good ones) in msia.
second is safety, but noone can deny that this problem is all over the world now.

to be direct, its $ problem.
its a no money no talk world.

so now we gotta pack and clean up our stuff in msia (my dad's doing that).
we have to do something about the piano (yamaha), sell it, preferably.
its still in good condition.
the dolls the plushies, gonna give some away to the orphanage nearby my house.
the dogs, to my relative.
the books, ah most of them are my parents', only the comics are mine/my sister's.
theyre going to our friend's home.
et cetera ionno what to do about the rest of the stuff.
its heart-breaking to give away stuff thatve been with you for a long time.

before i end.
thank you once again, to those who worried about me all this time.
and someone please tell lm (those who know knows whose initial is this) i said thanks, cause from what i heard from my dad, she telephoned my house number for a gazillion times almost every other day, asking about my whereabout.

well i gotta get back to work, so i have NO time to edit this post.
pardon me if i have a lotta grammatical error and stuff.
i know its spoiling your eyes cause its so unorganized.
and for being long and draggy. >_>

till the next time we meet.

regards,
ching.

p.s. i shall be busy for the next few weeks, or maybe months, to try to get used to school life here.
then i'll be posting survival reports, just to let you all know im still alive somewhere ;D

p.p.s. will always remember all the people i met and got to know in chs.
love y'all loads, i shall be missing all of you <3

Shimokawa Mikuni - Alone

乾いた風が吹く街は凍えている
いくつの季節がそっと音もなく過ぎ去ったのだろう

行き交う人は皆重い荷物背負って
遠くに揺れる陽炎の中に明日を見つける

この手を零れ落ちる砂のような感情
あの時胸に刺さった言葉がふいに疼くけど

果てない夜を数えながら自分の破片探していた
失うほどにこの思いが確かになってく
今ならきっと歩いて行ける
どこまでも

どうしてこの空はこんなに広いのだろう
叫んで見ても声にならなくて涙があふれた

自由に風切って鳥たちはどこへ行くの？
過ごした時間のように同じ場所に戻れない

このまま夢を諦めても 高鳴る鼓動押さえ切れない
いつかはきっと近付きたい あの雲の高さ
もう一度心に翼広げ
旅立とう

必ず辿り着けるはず

果てない夜を数えながら自分の破片探していた
失うほどにこの思いが確かになってく
今ならきっと歩いて行ける
どこまでも

The city where the dried wind blows is freezing
How many seasons have passed without even a sound out?

All the miling people each carries a heavy burden
And find tomorrow in the wavering haze far away

Emotion slipping away like sand from these hands
Although at that moment the words that pierced my heart throbs suddenly

While counting the endless night, I was searching for my pieces
The more I lose it, the more I am certain of this feeling
For now without doubt
I can go anywhere it takes

Why is the sky so vast like this
Even if I try to shout there is no voice coming out, so my tears fell
Breaking the wind freely, where do the birds go?
Just like the passed hours, they can't come back to the same place

Even if I give up my dream like this, I can not control my increasing hertbeat
Someday for sure I want to get closer to the height of those clouds
Once more I'll spread out the wings in my heart
And leave for a journey

For sure I can fight my way through and reach my destination

While counting the endless night, I was searching for my pieces
The more I lose it, the more I am certain of this feeling
For now without doubt
I can go anywhere it takes

xxxxx

First ending theme for Gensoumaden Saiyuuki.
Got the 'inspiration' to post this song from sl (piano verion on his blog).
The singer did a self-cover herself but i couldnt find it online.